Yesterday I was in the dressing room of one of my favorite stores (Megan you know which one I am talking about) and all of the sudden I hear this coming from the next stall/dressing room...
"Moooooommmmmmm I want to go"
"shut-up Miami. Sit down and shut the hell up"

I stopped mid-shirt pull off, and froze. I was in amazement...
Not at the mean language, or the verbal abuse being flung onto this little child...
But because I thought that I heard her call her daughter Miami.

Then she said it again
"Miami, I said SIT DOWN".

That's just not right. Who in their right mind would do that to a person? That little girl is set up for failure...or to be a stripper.
As Will Smith once said..."Ah Bienvenido a miami".

I love dressing rooms.

The other day I was outside taking advantage of the 10 min. break in the middle of one of the more boring of my classes this semester. One of the girls that I have befriended was outside and we were discussing the mean girl in the class.
I'm sorry, I mean the "miss know it all" in my class.
Well, my new buddy turns to me and says...
"Wanna know why she's so Orange?" and I say sure..she says
"cause she tan's in my tanning salon ALL the time". Then her eyes got really big and she said..
"Better yet I bet you can't even gues how OLD she is!"
I stopped unsure of what to say in response to this...was she implying that little miss know it all was an old lady? Cause when compared to my age, I would say I may beat her...or was she implying that she's a young girl who seems older. Such a tricky question.
So I say "I'm bad with these things...how old?"
She whispers "24". Like it's cancer.
I stop and look at her, take a breath then say
"wow. She sure does act like she knows everything, I mean I'm almost 27 and I don't know any of that stuff".
The girl got silent...looked at me and then screamed
"OH MY GOD, YOU TOTALLY LOOK LIKE YOU ARE 20!!! oh. I totally mean that as a compliment."
We both smiled that wierd smile and I walked in thinking...
"Am I turning into one of those older ladies who dresses too young for her age?"
Today...I bought three pairs of sexy 27 year old lady heels.

Sometimes VH1 can be damaging. Last night after getting home from my weird math/dance class I came in plopped down on my couch turned on the tv for some mindless relief and what did I come across?
Greatest teen stars 1-100.
Normally the countdown type shows do not attract my attention...this one though kept me hooked for the entire show. It's like a walk down memory lane mixed with a bit of "where are they now". I was entranced and very happy to have stumbled on this pop culture history lesson...
That was until they got to Chad Allen.
Chad Allen...the crush of my childhood. I had his pictures taped up all over my walls, I think I wrote in my poochie diary quoting Miss Judy Jetson that he was "the spaciest".
Who could resist that blonde haired, blue eyed fast talker with a mug like a prince?
Not I. I mean look at him.


So what happened to this stud?
Well, he showed up on Vh1 and as soon as I saw him on the countdown I geared up with such anticipation to find out where my love was and what he had been up to.
Then they said it...
Chad Allen is gay now, and can't get any work so he runs a small theater in LA.
They said this.
He said this...he actually says "I came out, and there was no more work, so now I run a small theater in L.A."
He's gay.
I mean good for him for coming out and being proud. But back to me...
I spent a majority of my childhood loving a gay teen heart throb. I am scared to go back to that show to find out that there may be more of these instances than my psyche can handle.
I mean seriously...Chad Allen is Gay.
I might as well get the bird flu, cause nothing matters anymore.

Valentines day has been coming up amongst conversations from friends...
I'm not accustomed to having amazingly romantic valentines days. Not because I'm against it or that really bad things happen...I'm either single or this type of thing happens...

The first and only time I ever got a bunch of red roses was in 1996 on Valentines day. My first ever boyfriend got me a dozen red roses and handed them to me as we got into his car with a "Oh here, these are for you". Then we headed back to our friends house after school and watched cheech and chong's up in smoke.
Wow that was ten years ago.

I also once got a red thong that was shaped into a rose by an ex-boyfriend that he later told me he picked up at the gas station on his way over.
That was five years ago.

Last year I got a call saying "I'll give you a present on your birthday".

So as you can see the magic of the "holiday" has worn off over the years, can't say why...but it has.

Oh and for those of you wondering...I never wore that gas station thing...it was scary.

I don't like it when guys have long fingernails.
I'm not very judgemental on things...but for some reason when I see a guy with long fingernails it's all I can concentrate on.
I think things like:
"Why do you like your nails like that?"
"Why don't you trim them?"
"Doesn't your girlfriend HATE that too?"
"Is that a coke nail?"
"Are you a monster?"
"Do you do the joust in the Renaissance Fair?"
Cause I always assume that they must have an excuse for not trimming their nails. I don't know why, but it always happens.
Basically, if you have long nails and you are a dude, don't let me see them while you are talking to me cause I will zone out and create a weird "alter-life" that you lead where you are cokehead dracula who jousts in upstate new york.

In the winter I like to wear baseball/little league socks under my pants. They are warm, they stay up all day and I've really gotten into dressing in things that make me happy. For some reason, baseball socks do that.
I also wear different varieties of striped, polka dot, or just plain knee socks. They aren't as fun as the baseball socks, but still appealing.
Yesterday I was sitting at my desk and realized that I had a hole in my favorite pair of blue baseball socks!!
No biggie as I rarely enter a home these days that requires a shoeless entry.

(Side note: I think I will never have a home where people have to take their shoes off to walk around, not because I have to clean up after them but because I wouldn't want anyone coming into my home with a hole in their sock and then have to feel that awkward "How am I going to pull this off without anyone noticing" thing.)

Relieved that the only thing I'd be doing was work and school I relaxed and proceeded with my day.

Later on, I found myself sitting at my desk and listening to the professors go over the syllabus for the semester...and all of the sudden I heard "we will be going downstairs now to the dance studio, in the dance studio you have to take off your shoes before you enter. We will be wearing our socks".
The toe next to my big toe shrieked in embarrassment, as I trudged down to the dance floor.

I always find it fascinating when you haven't thought about or had to deal with certain things in years and the minute you do think about them...they show up immediately.
What does that?

I don't know...but I do know I need to go baseball sock shopping.

I would like to wish everyone a HAPPY FEBRUARY.
This is my favorite month and it's here.
Why is it my favorite month you ask? well...all within the month of Feruary is:

Feb 1: Langston Hughes was born, and it's national Freedom Day.
Feb 2: Groundhog Day
Feb 3: Elmo's Birthday (I'm sure I can find something better than that)
Feb 4: Rosa Parks and Charles Lindberg's b-day. Also it's "Create a vacum day"?
Feb 5: National Weatherperson's Day, and fitting enough it's also Disaster Day!
Feb 6: Babe Ruth's Birthday.
Feb 7: Charles Dickens Birthday.
Feb 8: Boy Scouts Day. Make a knot!
Feb 9: Hersey's Chocloate day and national Toothache day. Weird!! (I'm not making these up)
Feb 10: Umbrella Day.
Feb 11: National Inventor Day, and National White T-Shirt Day.
Feb 12: Abe Lincoln's B-day.
Feb 13: Get a different Name Day. (a girl in my office is changing her name..now I can tell her when to do it).
Feb 14: Valentine's Day, and for those of yuo without one it's also Ferris Wheel Day!
Feb 15: Flag Day, Susan B. Anthony's B-day, and Gumdrop Day.
Feb 16: Nylon was Patented.
Feb 17: Random Acts of Kindness Day
Feb 18: Pluto was Discovered!
Feb 19: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood Debuted.
Feb 20: "Hoodie Hoo" day (you are supposed to yell this to chase away winter) and President's day.
Feb 21: Love your pet day.
Feb 22: Be Humble day, George Washington's birthday, World Thinking Day AND...MY BIRTHDAY! (I won't be humble on be humble day!)
Feb 23: International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
Feb 24: Gordon's Birthday from Sesame Street.
Feb 25: Electronic Printing Press was patented, and paper currency was first introduced.
Feb 26: Levi Strauss' Birthday
Feb 27: Polar Bear Day and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Birthday
Feb 28: Public Sleeping Day and Mardi Gras