My mother was recently promoted from elementary school teacher...to college professor of elementary school teachers.
This is all I hear about (and rightfully so).
My mother is also responsible for scaring the crap outta kids every Halloween.
Yes...I grew up in "THAT" house.
You know the house that people stand at the sidewalk scared to go further because the candy can in no way be worth it.
Every day of the year our house had a billion kids running in and out of it...except on Halloween.
On Halloween my mother and her friends would transform the house into the creepiest house in the neighborhood. This includes gluing fake faces and hands to their own hands and face, draping the house in black, and blaring the craziest music through every speaker in the place. My father dresses up as a werewolf and hides waiting to chase kids through the yard, and my brother always wore black and would lay flat until an unsuspecting kid would attempt to go in for the candy. Then he would jump up and ask where they thought they were going and undoubtedly they would run as fast as they could in whichever direction they happened to be in.
This was their tradition...I always would dress in cute costumes or ones that I found especially clever.
I would go trick or treating and approach my house with bags of candy only to find almost as much still in my mom’s candy dish...or bags lost from scared kids up and down the sidewalk.
I'd plop down after the festivities and listen to the stories of scared kids, teenagers, and adults...while chewing on whatever was the candy of the night.
Things are still the same in the Allan house...
I always call my mom around this time every year and ask about the new additions...sometimes she breaths fire..or something crazy like that...
Anyways..I called her tonight and she answered in an unusual tone. Normally she's so hyped I can barely talk to her, this time she was calm and collected.
I asked her if she was getting ready and she said with a sigh...
"No.
I have to teach tonight.
Someone else in the neighborhood is going to be a witch for me this year."

This was said with such sadness and defeat that all I could do was say "huh".

Everything has a price I guess.

There is a website where you can type in your names and it shows you how many people in the US have your exact name.
20 People have the name Amanda Allan.
I've never met one.
I've met the sister of Amanda Allen (Jess Allen). But never an actual hand to hand shake with another sweet sista of the cognominis (same name in latin).
So I did what anyone who is interested in seeing what their other selves look like....I image googled myself.
I'm happy to say that I am the first pic to pop up if you type in my name, and I am happy to say that I seem to be the weirdest of the A.A.'s.
The cool thing is, that it seems like google has made sure that there is only one pic for each of us.
Do you think that they all have the same life as I do? Just in different form.
Like the lady in black, does she have a cat named Ralph Machio the Karate Cat.
And the dental assistant...does she love cheese doodles?
How about the chick with the super bright colored background...I bet she bought her first car in a 7-11 parking lot for $800.00 as well, only to have it die on her.
Perhaps we all have the same things happen to us, we just look different so the outcome changes.
Naahhhh...there is no way that the lady at the spa loves "Flavor of Love 2" as much as I did.
Chcek out the Amanda Allan's

When I was in the fifth grade I wanted to be Dolly Madison in the school play of the "Constitution".
I wanted it for three reasons
1. She was the only girl in the play.
2. She had the best costume...naturally since everyone else had to dress up as boys.
3. She had a kick ass speach about women being able vote that tore the house down.

I remember preparing for the audition by saying the speech over and over again in my room. Making sure I knew it backwards and forwards so that when I got up there I could say "no one knew it better than me".
When audition day arrived I stood up in front of everyone and read my part as if Dolly Madison was this day's Scarlett O'Hara...I had no idea who Dolly Madison really was but figured she must have been awesome if she was the only girl.

When I finished my speech with the last line:
"and FINALLY women had the right to vote". Put my head down to signify that the scene was over and waited.
Everyone applauded and the Assistant Principal (who at the time was acting as the casting director) stood up and said "Well, it seems we have a little Jodie Foster on our hands".

huh?

I was acting like DOLLY MADISON...not JODIE FOSTER.
This confused me for a good day or so, until my mother explained that she meant it as a compliment.
Needless to say, I got the part. I wore an awesome outfit and I tore the house down...I even got over my disatisfaction with the Assistant Principle.

I have an audition tomorrow that I am excited about.
I'm goin in just to come out saying... "No one knew it better than me".

I went upstate this weekend to visit my grandparents.

I was always told that my grandma was brought over from Germany during the war by here mother and was raised in the Bronx without a father.
Supposedly he sent his wife and two daughters to America to save them from being hurt by the Nazi’s, never to see them again.

This is what my dad was told...and this is what he told me.

I was sitting in my grandma's house yesterday when out of nowhere she says. Oh yeah my father died four years ago.
I sat up and asked her what she meant. How did she know that?
"Oh he had Alzheimer’s and was in the Bronx. Lived to be 94. Guess he did alright huh!"
She then said once she remembered her mom going to his house for money...and he shut her out.

So now we have this little dilemma....do we believe the original story that has been told over and over again and has become the fate of the grandpa my dad never knew?

Or do we believe the new and unimproved story where my dad's grandpa was a deadbeat dad that wound up in the Bronx....a la Flavor Flav?

YEAAAAAAAHHHHH BOOOYYYY.
Talk about real life drama.

Today is Friday...
I'm going to let you all in three little secrets of mine:

1. As a kid I used reenact "Mungo Jerry and Rumpleteaser" from the hit musical CATS every day after school.

2. When my mother would put my hair in a pony tail I would tell her to make it like a tennis player’s hair. (I had never seen a game of tennis).

3. I cannot WAIT to see A Chorus Line on Broadway. This embarrasses me in the sense that I turn read and my voice raises three octaves when I talk about it.
But something inside really wants to sit there and watch those dance numbers with a ponytail so I can go home and reenact them after work.

I think I'm regressing.

The eye doctor said I have perfect vision.
(just to recap for those of you who were wondering)

In other news. I heard someone on the street say "This city is too damn confusing. How on earth could anyone live here? This place is just too busy!"

I heard this and smiled..cause I know the answer:
Avoid times square and 34th street, oh...and learn to walk.