I used to be kind of scared of Santa as a kid. I didn't like the idea of a strange man knowing so much about me, then breaking into my house to leave things behind...but only after eating my cookies.
Now that i think about it...
it sounds an awful lot like my last relationship.

So this is a posting for all of my friends, and anyone that needs to learn this lesson.
If something life changing happens to you or your loved ones, please...PLEASE do not text message people to tell them. When you do this you reduce the major moments in your life to an instant message or a phone message.

My high school best friend texted me the following:
"I'm going to be a mom".

What the heck? Is it hard to pick up the phone and call a person?
Oh whatever, I'm totally going to baby gap right away.

This morning I helped a blind man off the R train, up the escalator and out the turnstiles. As we walked I kept saying things like "keep walking straight" and I thought I was helping him...but really I was confusing him. He would say things like "Which way is straight"? Finally I used a little more force to turn him and he said, "there ya go!”.
I wonder if he can tell the different types of personalities people have by the way that they help him around. I'm sure some people must be impatient and rush him, or too slow, or too aggressive, or not aggressive enough.
I also wonder what he thought I looked like.
I wonder where I would live if I were blind...I don't think I would live in the city. Too many personalities.

I just took a 5 min nap at work, (they have a cot in the bathroom)...but the whole time I felt like I was going to get caught.

The entire time I just kept trying to relax and sleep..I kept imagining worst case scenarios if I got caught trying to sleep on the job. Then I thought about funny case scenarios...
Then my phone alarm went off, up I went and rushed back to my desk...and yet no one had even noticed.
To them I had just disappeared for a couple of min, but to me...I had gotten in and out of trouble many times, I had weaved tons of random stories in my head...been to the principle's office and back, and all for nothing.
I need to go sleep on that thing more often I just need to work on thinking about getting into trouble on a desert island with a pina colada and jake gyllenhaal.

My boss always tells me I talk to myself randomly at work. I normally don't believe her and tell her that she is the crazy one in the office.
Today, she was proven right.
We listen to holiday music at work and at one point during "sleigh ride" I started singing "horses! horses! horses!". I stopped, turned around to see if anyone had noticed and my boss just looked at me and said "are you going to say that everytime this song comes on?".
I then told her it was a "sleepless in seatle" reference...and then realized I had just buried myself even lower in loserville.